Death to Sam

So I started a new job on Monday. Go me! Not only is it a kickass role, but I get to talk to grown-ups, have regular lunch breaks, and use the bathroom by myself. This awesomeness occurs three days a week, which means I still get to spend the other two hanging with my two best dudes.

Anyway, this - plus rapidly approaching final exams - have prevented me from bringing you another episode of Spot: More Than Meets the Eye. Before, I thought their nudity was just an amusing quirk, but now a far more sinister side of the family has been revealed...ATTEMPTED MURDER. (Cue the dun dun DUNNNNN!)

Btw, before we get started, does anyone else think it's weird that the only pets in these stories are cats? All of the other animals are anthropomorphized. Eric Hill must regard cats as mentally deficient. Or slaves.

Totally different book to the rest of this post, btw. Just happens to also mention cake baking.

Anyway - the book starts out innocently enough, with Spot suggesting that they bake a cake for his father's birthday:

Aww. Bonding through cookery. Cute!

Sally agrees, which at first seems like a pleasant way to spend time with her son. Then they hit the grocery store, and her true intentions are revealed:

WTF, Sally?

YES. Sally is making Sam a chocolate cake. This is a family of dogs. Clearly she is trying to poison her husband.

Sally then cheerfully tricks her son into aiding and abetting by getting him to help make the deadly dessert:

"WE"? Way to keep your paws clean, Sal.

She continues to psychologically groom her son through the rest of the baking and decorating:

"Nice surprise"? SURE IT WILL BE.

And in the end, she even brainwashes poor Spot into taking most of the credit for his father's inevitable death:

Mmmm. Poison.

Note that Sam is the only dog who is actually eating the cake? Guess Sally didn't want her fall-pup to keel over and leave her holding the bag.

I love these books. After reading them five million times, they are truly the gift that keeps on giving.