Ten minutes

One of the coolest things about having twins is watching them play together - especially when they get a cool new toy like a ride-on Caterpillar truck and matching toolbox, courtesy of their grandparents:

 

It is amazingly cute to see them push each other around on the truck, pass tools back and forth, and generally have a blast.

Of course, ten minutes later and they're screaming, biting, pulling hair and trying to gouge eyes with the handy dandy toy Cat screwdriver and hammer.

But you're better off focusing on the prior cuteness if you want to make it through the day. Yay for adorable playing pirates!

Q&A

I've received a number of questions about my weight loss, mostly via email - so I'm doing this follow-up post in case other people are wondering the same things but didn't want to ask. :)

If you don't mind me asking, what's your height/weight?
I'm 5'6" and currently weigh 179lbs.

I started at 210lbs and my goal is 150lbs, which is a weight my body is very comfortable at - I can maintain it with little difficulty, and when I drop more than a couple of pounds below that, people start asking if I'm feeling unwell.

How did you find and keep the motivation to stay on your diet?
The short answer: I didn't and I don't. I am the least motivated person on the planet. No lie.

The long answer: I never feel like dieting. It's hard and boring and I hate every second of it. And when I realized that fact, I also realized that I had to stop waiting to feel motivated, because it was never, ever, going to happen. So one not very special day, I decided to get my ass in gear and not give myself an out. I took away the option of "feeling like" dieting and made it a non-optional plan instead.

I also told friends and family what I was doing, reasoning that the more people who knew, the more accountable I'd feel since failure would be a huge embarrassment. I specifically asked Ben to help keep me on track: that if he saw me wavering, he'd ask if I really wanted to ruin my diet just so I could have [insert delicious fatty food here] that night. The first time it happened, I wanted to shank him with a salad fork. But it did work.

I do have one trick that helps me stay on track: one meal per week - usually dinner on Friday - is a designated cheat meal. For this single meal, I can eat anything I want, in any quantity I want. Whole pan of brownies? No problem. Quadruple bypass burger and a bucket of fries the size of my head? No guilt. Having this meal to look forward to means that for the rest of the week, whenever I'm tempted to blow my diet, I think to myself, "OK, you can have that if you really want it - this can be your cheat meal. But that means you don't get to eat pizza and watch Hoarders on Friday night." Pizza and Hoarders ALWAYS win.

Are you eating low carb (or another diet)?
No, I'm not following a particular diet. I think that certain restrictive diets - low carb, gluten free, etc. - work very well for some people and not for others. I'm one of the others. If I eat low carb, I still have to stay within the same low calorie range as when I eat carbs, so I still lose weight at the exact same rate. In other words, my body doesn't seem to care what I put in it - just how much.

I suppose the closest formal diet is Weight Watchers - like their point system, I can eat anything I want, but I have to stay within a certain caloric limit for the day. So if I want a big ass piece of cake, I can have it...but I probably won't be able to eat for the rest of the day. And trust me, cake doesn't look so tasty if you're facing six hours of hunger afterward. 

I wish I had a magic formula to give you - eat 5 pints of blueberries a day and you can have all the doughnuts and pork rinds you want while losing 10lbs a week! - but the truth is a lot more boring: I don't eat a lot. I track calories using livestrong and don't eat so much as a grape if it will send me over the daily limit they suggest. End of story.

Once a month or so, I take a day or a weekend off and stop tracking calories. I don't go crazy and stuff my face with pie - I just eat to maintain. This gives me a brief mental rest from the constant "Can't eat it can't eat it can't eat it" mantra and helps me avoid burnout. I'll also be taking Christmas and Boxing Day off - in fact, I decided to allow myself a Christmas Day splurge of fatty, gooey, delicious cinnamon rolls, and I intend to eat as many as I damn well please without feeling an ounce of guilt. 

In the spirit of full disclosure I should probably say that even before I started this diet, we ate fairly healthy meals. Very little junk food or pre-packaged meals, lots of fresh veggies, complex carbohydrates and lean meat. I didn't eat poorly - I just ate too much. Portion control is something I struggle with, so I do things like buy a big bag of raisins, then divide that into single serving sizes using a kitchen scale and about 20 little Tupperware containers. This makes it fast and easy to grab snacks for rest of the week. It might seem over the top to some people, but it only takes about 5 minutes, helps control the quantities I consume, and means I don't have to stand there mentally calculating the calorie content of eight prospective snacks while the Pirates are tearing the house apart.

What exercise do you do?
This is the embarrassing one: aside from incidental exercise - like walking to the playground while pushing the Pirates' stroller, or chasing the kids around the yard - I don't work out. Ever.

I know I'll have to start eventually, especially if I don't want to be "flabby thin", but for weight loss alone just limiting calories gets it done for the time being. And odd as it might sound, exercise was something I intentionally omitted when I first started my health kick; I knew I'd be doing this for a looooong time, and I didn't want to jump in the deep end with limited calories AND a rigorous exercise schedule. I knew from past experience that I'd burn out quickly this way, so I made a conscious decision to diet first, then add exercise later on. 

Do you feel better physically/mentally after losing weight?
Absolutely. I feel healthier and more energetic, and I feel better about myself - more confident, less ashamed (because let's face it, being overweight is shameful in our culture). I'm proud of what I've accomplished.

And on a lighter note, going clothes shopping is suddenly the best thing ever! I bought a few things last weekend - my old clothes were literally falling off my body - and the difference between clothes shopping now and 30lbs ago is amazing.

I was never plus size, but I was one size below it (i.e., the largest "normal" size available) which left me with severely limited options. Stores in my area would only carry one or two of a particular item in my size, so if those were already sold, I was S.O.L. That meant that I often had to just take what I could find in my size vs what I actually liked or what was the most flattering - so being two sizes smaller and being able to try on ANYTHING I wanted is awesome, and something I'd sorely missed.

Any more questions? Comment below, or email me at survivingoz@gmail.com.

Outtakes

I got my hair cut today for the first time since like, oh, January. I'm not what you might call a regular visitor to the salon. Anyway, I was trying to take a photo to show a friend, but this kept happening:

And this:

Having kids is like having your very own walking photobombs. Here's what the hair actually looks like, in case you're wondering:

Pretty much your standard "Chop that shit off,  I'm sick of it" cut. And DIY hair dye (pro tip: do not do this when your children are awake), the color of which I'm not quite sure I'm sold on. Thoughts?

Also: "Hi, my name is Lisa and I'm a 30-year-old woman who has never learned how to style her own hair." *sigh*

Operation: Fatass

Back in August, I made a startling discovery: I was totally fat. 

For a year and a half, I'd openly acknowledged my weight issues but comforted myself with the fact that I'd just had twins. Unfortunately, the statute of limitations for "I just had twins" reached its expiration date about a year ago. Dammit.

So I bought a scale (no, I didn't own one - it interfered with my s'more habit) and stepped on. Then immediately stepped off, gave myself a moment to recover, and tried again. The Number From Hell was still there, and it said I was sixty pounds overweight.

Sixty.

Pounds.

My first reaction was desperate complacency. I could live with that weight, right? My husband still loved me, my friends still hung out with me, I didn't have to buy muumuus or get airlifted by a crane. Sure, I was at greater risk of heart disease and Type 2 diabetes and blahbity blah blah blah. But dredging up the willpower to lose sixty pounds would be a lot worse, right?

And then I told myself to get over it and stop waiting to feel motivated, because when it comes to self deprivation, I would never feel motivated enough. And so Operation: Fatass was born.

Want to see a before shot? This was taken when the Pirates were less than a week old - note the hospital setting - and I have absolutely no idea how much I weighed. I would guess I was around 80lbs overweight, maybe more? Obviously this means it's not a totally accurate picture of how I looked when I started my health and fitness kick earlier this year, but I'm using it since it's the only photo I have post-pregnancy where you can see below my head and shoulders (body-conscious much?).

Be kind.

It's odd looking at photos of myself that overweight, because somehow I never saw myself that way - much the same way that a teensy weensy part of my brain is always startled to realize I'm no longer a 19 year old college student. Anyway, this is me today:

Ignore the crazy hair and the bag of kitty litter in the background. I'm full of class today.

I weigh less now than I did when we got married, but I still have another thirty pounds to lose. The first thirty have taken about 5 months, so I'm looking at another 5-6 months before I reach my goal.

Got questions? Ask 'em in the comments. I know weight loss is fascinating to most people and I don't mind!

'Tis the season

This year's effort at a Christmas e-card:

I can't believe we actually got a photo where both boys are looking at the camera and smiling at the same time. It's a Winter-een-mas miracle!

Five things

My town pipes Christmas music in the main street during the holiday season. It is both bizarre and awesome, like if Disneyland had a Hickville section.

I'm about to start reading the Autumn series by David Moody. Oddly, given how obsessed I am with the undead, I have never read zombie lit. I'll let you know how it goes.

Lately the Pirates have taken to applauding wildly every time I park the car. I'm not sure if they're excited we're at our destination, or happy I'm no longer driving.

Speaking of the Pirates, two days ago Will headbutted me in the face. I got a knot on the forehead the size of a golf ball and a mild concussion. He was totally fine. Toddler's heads are made of rock.

These stories about the scandals of classic Hollywood are truly fascinating. Also - ladies, please check out the first photo in the Paul Newman feature. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Obsession

Christmas is by far my favorite time of year. Not because of peace or goodwill or all that other crap, but because I get to wrap dozens of presents, and gift wrapping is one of my all time favorite activities.

Yes. I am THAT person. Double sided tape and wired ribbon are my crack.

But today I think my obsession may have gone a little too far. Today I made an origami lily out of wrapping paper to use instead of a bow. 

SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!

Please keep this photo to use as evidence when you check me into the Betty Ford Center.

Pretty of the day

I think flowers must be the single most instantly gratifying photography subject on the planet. They're just so easy. It's not hard to take a pretty shot of a flower.

 

Of course, this also means it's not exactly the best way to challenge myself or develop my skills, but what the hell - some days you just want the easy and the pretty.

You know you're a parent when...

...photos of your children eating whole oranges are unbearably cute instead of OMGWTF STICKY EWWW GET IT AWAY!!!11!1

Thank god it's nearly summer and they can just be hosed down afterward. Heh.