August 23, 2011

Tips of the Day

If you're thinking of moving and have two highly energetic maniacs toddlers, go slam your hand in the car door a couple dozen times instead. It will be less agonizing and certainly involve fewer renditions of "I said GET OUT OF THAT BOX OMG DON'T DROP THAT PUT DOWN THE WINE GLASSES AND STEP AWAYYYYYY."

If you're sleeping on a borrowed air mattress for a night before your real bed arrives, check to make sure the accompanying electric pump is one that you plug into the wall. Otherwise you'll be hanging out on your front lawn at 10.30pm with the car battery powered pump attached to an idling engine. Classy. On the other hand, from that point on you can probably only go up in your neighbors' estimation.

If you're moving into a rental that's been recently renovated, plug in a phone to make sure the phone lines running under the floorboards weren't severed when the owner replaced the flooring, then apparently just stuffed those pesky little chopped up wires back in there where no one would ever notice, am I right? Incidentally, this is also how you get a phone service guy to swear really loudly in the presence of children.

Lastly - and this is not a tip - can I just say INTERNET! Sweet, sweet internet! Has it really been two weeks, my beloved? Never leave me again! *sob*

P.S. Also not a tip, but I'm currently catching up on the bajillion posts in my Google Reader and OMFG you must go read Rex's review of Bride and Groom. Make sure you watch the video as well - I snort laughed at least four times.


  1. Holy crap, loving this post. That is all.

  2. Welcome back! I missed you! (Is that creepy?) Whatever, I don't care.

  3. It sounds like you're writing about my life!


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