Spring is in the air

Tomorrow is officially the first day of spring in Australia, which means the horrible freezing winter is over...and that this is the last photo of my adorable little pirates all rugged up until next year:

Don't let the fuzzy bunny overalls fool you. These are VERY ferocious pirates. Mmmhmm.

So long, winter!

Zombietown

So there's a new TV series starting up soon - The Walking Dead:



I've never read the comic book this is based on, but it looks interesting enough that I'll watch. As a bonus, these look like the slow moving breed of zombies, which means I won't fall into a fetal position and start screaming, "Don't eat my braaaaaains!" when I see quick movement out of the corner of my eye - my poor cats would start to wonder why I was shrieking about the undead every time they ran around the house.

And yet...you all know how I feel about zombies. I can't bring myself to watch 28 Days Later because a 3-second clip makes me yank a blanket over my head. I even get all twitchy after watching Shaun of the Dead (though I have to say that Hot Fuzz is made of awesome).

So - potentially amazing new show, or something specifically designed to send me into an early grave with a nervous disorder?

Still life with giraffe

This is my life these days: teething gel, teething tablets, orris roots, and Sophie the Giraffe (oh Sophie - how I love you!).

Link me up

The funniest things I've seen lately:

If Historical Events had Facebook Statuses ("Does this mean we get to sign more shit? Cuz that was fun." "So we gathered.")

A flowchart to help you figure out if you can date someone

Allie writing about Expectations vs Reality over at Hyperbole and a Half (I find how much I can relate to this post mildly distressing)

Anyone else have something funny to share?

S'more please!

Due to an appalling lack of graham crackers and Hershey's chocolate, most Australians have been forced to endure camping trips without the delicious treat known as the s'more; clearly the only way they can continue going on with their lives is because they don't know what they're missing.

When I mentioned this deplorable state of affairs to my dad and stepmom, they naturally became desperately worried and asked if I could continue surviving in such deplorable conditions. OK, maybe they just rolled their eyes, but when my sister came to visit, she brought a suitcase full of gifts - and among those were s'more ingredients.

So today, I'm going to do my civic duty and instruct my fellow Aussies in the Proper Way To Make A S'more. Here's what you need:

S'more ingredients

 Honey Maid graham crackers. Jet-Puffed marshmallows. Hershey's milk chocolate.

You must use these exact brands, or the world will end. Consider it fair warning.

A friend to model the s'more making process

She's a mild mannered lunatic. And pretty funny.

A sad eyed, overweight dog who will try to convince you he'll perish from hunger in the next 30 seconds if he doesn't get a marshmallow

Korben the Wonder Dog, reporting for duty

Got everything? Then we can begin.

Step 1 - Prepare for battle by snapping a graham cracker in half...

...then also break off the chocolate so it's ready to go (note that half a Hershey's bar is the exact right size for half a graham cracker - clearly they are destined to be together)...

...and lastly, slide two marshmallows onto your scavenged woodland stick, personalized marshmallow roaster, or, as you see here, humble household fork (selected because even though we have trees and therefore have sticks of an adequate size on the ground, my dogs pee all over the yard - 'nuff said):

Step 2 - Roast your marshmallow over an open flame. A fire on the beach or in a forest is traditional, but all I have is a gas BBQ, because I'm classy like that (and if marshmallows + gas will give me cancer, I don't want to know about it):

There are many modes of thought regarding when the roasting is complete. I like a nice, even, golden-brown tone over the entire marshmallow. My mother likes to shove 'em in the flames and let them merrily burn until they resemble charcoal briquettes. Due to the limitations of a hot metal fork and uneven gas flames, we settled for partly-burned-and-partly-white:

Step 3 - Squish the marshmallows onto one half of the graham cracker:

Step 4 - Press the chocolate down on top of the marshmallows:

Step 5 - Place the second half of the graham cracker on top, thereby completing the construction of your Sweet Sandwich of Divine Goodness:

Step 6 - Enjoy, and don't worry about looking like a doofus when it invariably smooshes all over your face (photos withheld in the interest of my future survival):

And that, my Aussie friends, is how you make a s'more. I know your lives have now been changed forever. You're welcome.

Election today

Remember the voting ballot I described? Freaking thing was LONGER THAN MY ARM. I'm serious. Had to be over a meter long. I didn't count, but there must have been at least 15 parties and 40 candidates. It was like a very political table runner.

P.S. In case anyone is wondering, I took one look at that thing and voted above the line.

Politics in the air

Since I'm now an official Aussie, it means I have the right to vote - or, perhaps more accurately, the obligation to vote, as it's compulsory here and you can be fined if you don't submit a ballot. At any rate, I'll get to participate for the first time at the federal election this Saturday. 

The voting system here has always confused me a little - Australia's electoral system encompasses a fairly complex structure of preferential voting, and in a federal election you can vote "above or below the line".

Below the line means that if you have a list of, say, fourteen candidates from seven different political parties, you vote for all candidates in order of preference by writing a ranking number next to their name. So you'd mark your favorite candidate as "1" (aka your "first preference") and your least favorite as "14", with the others ranging somewhere in between.

With above the line voting you simply vote "1" for your favored political party (listed above a line separating them the individual politicians), who then distribute your preferences among their candidates via the electoral authority.

Something like 95% of Australians vote above the line, presumably because when there are so many candidates standing for a federal election, no one feels like trying to rank them all - especially since missing or accidentally repeating a number can invalidate your ballot.

That's all fairly easy - it's the redistribution of preferences that's always confused me, so I'm just going to quote directly from Wikipedia:

* the counting of first preference votes, also known as the "primary vote", takes place first. If no candidate secures an absolute majority of primary votes, then the candidate with the least number of votes is "eliminated" from the count.

* the ballot papers of the eliminated candidate are examined and re-allocated amongst the remaining candidates according to the number "2", or "second preference" votes.

* if no candidate has yet secured an absolute majority of the vote, then the next candidate with the least number of primary votes is eliminated. This preference allocation continues until there is a candidate with an absolute majority. Where a second preference is expressed for a candidate who has already been eliminated, the voter's third or subsequent preferences are used.

* following the full allocation of preferences, it is possible to derive a two-party-preferred figure, where the votes are divided between the two main candidates in the election. In Australia, this is usually between the candidates from the two major parties

So due to reallocation, if you submit your ballot for a minor politician or party it's fairly likely that vote will ultimately be used to elect a candidate that you may not support.

I find this system a bit odd. I'll freely admit that the American plurality voting system has it's own flaws, but I'm not sure why the complexity of preferential voting would hold more appeal when a government establishes it's political structure...can any Aussies help me understand the benefits of this system (and correct me if any of the above information is wrong)?

Recipes and new blogs and pants, oh my!

This sounds unbelievably good...artery clogging, but gooooood. Who wants to come make it for me?

These are awesome- seven deadly sins pants! I know they're a novelty item, but am I alone in secretly thinking that adjustable waist pants are a great idea?

This is someone that I took photos of over the weekend - try her blog, it's fun!

Enable me

Back in January, I was introduced to a new addiction: The Settlers of Catan. It became my gateway drug game into the world of Amazingly Awesome Board Games - here's what currently on my want list:

Agricola
You're a farmer in a wooden shack with your spouse and little else. On a turn, you get to take only two actions, one for you and one for the spouse, from all the possibilities you'll find on a farm: collecting clay, wood or stone; building fences; and so on. You might think about having kids in order to get more work accomplished, but first you need to expand your house. And what are you going to feed all the little rugrats?

Small World
Players vie for conquest and control of a world that is simply too small to accommodate them all. Small World is inhabited by a zany cast of characters such as dwarves, wizards, amazons, giants, orcs and even humans; who use their troops to occupy territory and conquer adjacent lands in order to push the other races off the face of the earth.

Dominion
You are a monarch, like your parents before you, a ruler of a small pleasant kingdom of rivers and evergreens. Unlike your parents, however, you have hopes and dreams! You want a bigger and more pleasant kingdom, with more rivers and a wider variety of trees. You want a Dominion! In all directions lie fiefs, freeholds, and fiefdoms. All are small bits of land, controlled by petty lords and verging on anarchy. You will bring civilization to these people, uniting them under your banner. But wait! It must be something in the air; several other monarchs have had the exact same idea. You must race to get as much of the unclaimed land as possible, fending them off along the way. To do this you will hire minions, construct buildings, spruce up your castle, and fill the coffers of your treasury. Your parents wouldn't be proud, but your grandparents would be delighted.

Anyone have more game suggestions to enable my addiction?

Good times

See this sweet face?

I haven't lately.

Looks like my darling Will has started teething at the ripe old age of three months (I blame his daddy, who also started around that age). Drooling, gnawing, and one VERY cranky boy. I'm sure his younger brother won't be too far behind...

Play time

Watching my sons laugh and play is the most charming thing in the world...

...obviously this is because they are the cutest, smartest and most adorable children to ever exist and every move they make is fascinating and endearing not only to me, but to everyone else on the planet as well.

Yeah I know, every parent thinks that about their kid. But with mine it's actually true. Right? Right. ;-)

If I have ever wanted just one thing...

...it's this book shelf, designed by Jordi Mila:

It's like Beetlejuice meets Dr Seuss.

Mila also has a very cool Four Seasons Lamp that I don't even want to see the price tag on. *sigh* My champagne tastes strike again...

More banana

You know those Banana Republic pants that I posted about the other day? The ones with the, uh, banana in the pocket? They made the New York Times. Yep, seriously!

(As a side note - ha! I posted it a day before Jezebel! Take THAT, much much much more famous blog than mine! I win! *sigh* I need to get out more...)

Is that a banana in your pocket?

So normally I keep this blog pretty PG-rated, but today I might crank it up to PG-13 because this is just too funny. Check out this ad for men's pants - notice anything...unusual? 

Nice herringboner weave, eh? And it's available in Big & Tall - I may pass out from all the puns flooding my head right now. 

And yes this is a real ad - click the link above - although I suppose whether it's a publicity stunt is another matter.

Banana Republic indeed...

ETA: It looks like they've fixed the image on their site and you can't see the...uh...offending member any more. I swear I got the picture above as a screenshot directly from the website! Actually, if you look at the new ad with the zoom tool, you can see that they used the clone tool in Photoshop to get rid of it - must have been a rush job because it's a bit sloppy and there's a repeating highlight.

The most boring room in the world

This is our bedroom:

Yes, that is my version of a made bed. Sue me.

It is quite possibly the most boring room in the world. It's where beige came to die, and I've gotten to the point where I need a change, not to mention some COLOR.

Here's the problem: I'm bad at decorating. Actually, I'm terrible. Horrible, even. I have NO eye for this kind of thing - what goes together, what clashes, where to take risks and when to say "OMFG are you blind?"

I wanted to repaint, but Ben likes the current color scheme of camel, white and chocolate brown so I'm working around that; blues and greens work the best with this particular tone of paint, so those are the colors I'm considering. Oh, and the ceiling light is similar to this one - not identical, but silver and in the same general style. We don't have the cash to replace furniture, so the only options are wall art, new bedding and some table lamps...and the more budget friendly the better.

Since I'm a big ole nerd, I'm entertaining myself by making mock-ups of a finished room in Photoshop - this is my front runner so far:

Bedding from Overstock. 

Green glass lamps are Ljusås Salbo with the Erserud lampshade from Ikea (I liked these but at over $300 a pop, that ain't happening).

Trees are wall decals from Etsy (I know decals aren't everyone's style but I like them).

Thoughts? Do the lamps and duvet cover add enough color to the room, or is it still blah? Is the foliage print on the duvet too matchy with the trees? Does it look like a 5 year old sleeps there? Do I need to give up on decorating and just go live in a cave? Give it to me straight!