A little while ago, a child-free friend asked me what life with children is like. She said it seemed to her like you lose yourself - that your world suddenly revolves around your baby, that you have no other interests in life. She wanted to know if your life really changes as much as it seems like it does from the outside.
I told her that yes, it does - it has to. Becoming a parent means you evolve from a person who only has to look after their own needs to one who has to put the needs of another first - always first. It's exhausting and difficult and rewarding and inspiring and all-consuming. My world revolves around my children, around their needs. I quite literally spend my entire day - all 24 hours - with them, either directly caring for them or simply just in the same house.
I'm still the same me that I was before they were born. I still have the same interests and like doing the same things, but by and large my ability to pursue those interests and take part in those things has been put on hold, albeit temporarily. And as you, my readers, can doubtlessly tell, my children are foremost on my mind; I used to post about zombies and my minor obsession with etsy - now I put up photos of my kids.
It won't always be this way. They won't always be so needy (and I don't mean that in a negative way, simply that they need me), and I won't always have to arrange my life around them. But for now, this is how it is.
So yes - your life changes. And yes - it's worth it.
Gardening in the rain
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Have you ever gardened in the rain? I highly recommend you do. Sunday
morning I spent pulling couch grass out of garden beds, raking up weeds,
digging arou...
Greetings from Lamb! Thank you for stopping by to show me some bloggy love. It was quite a shock to wake up and discover that I’d been featured on SITS, especially with my face covered in sticky cinnamon! Now I have lots of fun new blogs to explore. If you do try out my face mask, be sure to take a photo and email it to me. I’ll feature you in a post with a link to your blog :)
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Stopping by from SITS!
ReplyDeleteI think it's a matter of perspective, really. I think that anytime we delve into something new that we are really passionate about, it can appear to others that we "lose" ourselves. But really, we're growing ourselves and changing to encompass this new passion. Becoming a parent- becoming a mom- is probably the biggest, hugest passion we can undertake...
I think that those who "observe" the change and accuse the mom of losing herself are really expressing their own sense of loss at not being part of this change. Instead of mourning the person you think you've lost, suport this new birth of a mother and then the friend you knew before will glimmer through!
I am right there with you! You might not lose a piece of yourself but it does certainly go on a shelf only to be taken down on special occasions :)Other parts ofv you quite simply change. I know my priorities did for sure, like you said, they have to!
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