I read the blog (Baby Makes Four) of a funny twin mom named Erica; today she wrote a post on bathroom performance anxiety and oh my gawwwd people - it was like looking in a mirror.
Unlike Erica, I won't go so far as to travel home to avoid pooing at work, but I'll only do a #2 if there is no one else in the bathroom. The fact that everyone poops is totally irrelevant. If someone is in the stall next to me, I will hold it in until I die. Or until the other person leaves. You know, whichever comes first.
That said, it gets pretty awkward when there's someone in the stall next to you and it's been dead silent for several minutes, and then you realize that they're doing the exact same thing you are: waiting.it.out. Now THOSE are the times that try men's souls. What do you do in this situation? Give up and leave, figuring you can always poo another day? Stick to your guns and sit it out, while trying to surreptitiously spy the other person's shoes under the stall wall so you can identify who it is and carefully avoid them for the rest of the day? Or just go for it while howling "Bombs awaaaaaaay!"
Is anyone else going to 'fess up to this? Or am I alone in my weirdness?
Paperback 533: End Zone / Don DeLillo (Pocket Books 78282)
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*Paperback 533: Pocket Books 78282 (1st ptg, 1973)*
*Title*: *End Zone*
*Author*: Don DeLillo
*Cover artist:* photo
*Yours for: *$8
[image: PB78282.EndZon...
Oh my god. The mexican standoff of public bathroom pooing.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I don't poo unless there is nobody around, or even within earshot. I like to pretend that I don't actually need to expel waste, or something.
OK this will probably be TMI, but there are ways to poop silently if there's someone else around. It involves stuffing a fair amount of paper into the loo so that there's no splash, or having toilet paper in your hand and kind of catching it and lowering it so there's no splash. Like I said TMI!
ReplyDeleteYou do realise that as a Mother, your time "solo" in toilet stalls has come to end. Forget worrying about the people in the next stall, what about an audience in the stall with you??? They can announce in their little toddler voices, "Mommy's doing poo poo!" It has happened. Trust me.
ReplyDeleteAlas, I have no problems pooping in public potties. I do feel awful when I am doing my business and someone walks into the restroom and makes a comment about smell. Then I feel kinda guilty, but not totally, I mean, it IS a bathroom for crying out loud. Maybe next time that happens you can just casually comment "I'll pretend not to listen to you if you do the same for me" and then get done and escape.
ReplyDeleteI would worry more about an automatic bathroom door opening in a car park toilet.
ReplyDeleteAnony - yes! I call it the "magic carpet". Good for avoiding skid marks when you're at someone's house, too. :-P
ReplyDeleteAs a mom of 4 I have to say I have had the one of my kids say in public "mom, are you pooping?" or walk into a public bathroom and have the child annouce that it stinks in there and try as much as possible to quietly tell them to shhh, they will keep repeating it over and over again until you agree with them. Every mom will have to go through the pooping with an audience, you have no choice.
ReplyDeleteTotally with you - think it may be more of a girl thing as it seems lots of blokes just go for it - at least that's what my hubby says! Also agree that children have no shame and I am often "outed" by my son!
ReplyDelete