Everything is better with bacon

A couple of years ago, I told my husband about a funny blog I was reading, all about a city girl who married a cowboy and moved to a ranch. Ben was indifferent to the charms of The Pioneer Woman ("That's a GIRL blog") until I sent him a link to a recipe for her bacon wrapped jalapenos, asking if he wanted to try it. And oh indeedy he did.

Since then, we have made these little snacks about a thousand times. Maybe more. In fact, Ben loves the recipe so much that he's now one of PW's biggest fans, and regularly recommends her cowboy recipes to his geeky buddies. He also often cooks up a big ole batch of the jalapenos to take for snacks when he gathers up the nerd herd for a day of gaming.

Last night, while we whipped up yet another batch, Ben said, "Hey, why don't you blog about this?" So I am.

Oh, before I start, I should warn you - these things are addictive. Really addictive. So don't blame me if you turn into a bacon craving crackhead. You've been forewarned, m'kay?

For this recipe, you will need:

• A bunch of jalapenos
• A block of cream cheese
• Some bacon (how much depends on what kind of bacon you use - more on that later)
• Toothpicks

To start, preheat your oven to about 190C/375F and then grab yourself a jalapeno:

Cut that sucker in half:

And scoop out the seeds with whatever is handy - a spoon is probably a good choice, but hey, I'm not judgy:

Then repeat 300 times:

Now grab the block of cream cheese:

Scoop up a nice big chunk:

Smoosh it into the hollow of the pepper, smoothing it out as you go:

And repeat 400 times:

Finally it's time to grab your pack of bacon. This is where it will get different for the American readers - Australians use middle bacon, which as you can see is far thicker, wider and longer than the streaky bacon Americans are used to (it's not generally cooked to a crisp either, just lightly pan fried). We've found we can usually get about three large jalapenos per rasher of Aussie bacon - if I was using American bacon, I'd probably just use half of a slice for each pepper (the Pioneer Woman says to use a third of a slice, but I like these more bacon-y than she does).

Aussie bacon also often comes with a rind still attached - we always cut this off, although I do know people who like to eat it:

How do you like my hand model? Somehow Ben doesn't object for posing for photos as much if he can do it while handling bacon. Which sounds kind of dirty somehow...

Grab one of your stuffed jalapenos and place it face side down on the bacon rasher, leaving a gap at the beginning:

Then just fold that bit of bacon over the top:

And roll the whole thing over to get another layer of bacon on the bottom, shoving a toothpick in to keep it all together:

Cut the little bundle free from the rasher and whack it on a baking tray - make sure you use a cookie tray lined with baking paper to catch the drips and a rack so the peppers can get air under them:

Then repeat the entire process 500 times:

Whack the tray into the oven - you'll need to leave it there for oh, 20-30 minutes. It's hard to say precisely how long, because it will depend on the size of the jalapenos and the thickness of the bacon - basically, you just want the meat to get nice and crispy, and by that point the peppers are generally cooked as well.

While you're waiting for the delicious goodness to cook, wash your hands five or six times to get the jalapeno juice off them, then remind yourself not to touch your eyes, just in case. Three minutes later, forget and absentmindedly scratch your eyelid, then howl in pain. Wash your hands another seven or eight times while weeping from your red and swollen eye.

Then eventually give in to the siren lure of the scent of bacon and cream cheese wafting from your oven, and pull out these beauties:

Pick up the biggest and juiciest looking one and take a bite, then howl with pain after burning the crap out of your tongue. Then take another bite anyway. Because they are that good. Really.