Just a quickie

I've mentioned before that even after living here for nearly seven years, I still hear new phrases and slang all the time. Sometimes it's a little, well...weird.

First, you must know that my darling friend Elise is no longer incubating womb fruit - in fact, little Olivia Anne was born on January 15th.

Shockingly, I have to say that Olivia is actually quite gorgeous - and you know if the Baby Hater is saying that, it must be true. That's right Elise, you heard me: she's gorgeous. You did good, kid.

Personally, I think the entire thing was just a scam to see how big of a basket of chocolates she could get Ben to bring her during our hospital visit. Since he's a disgusting baby loving person, Elise and her chocolate addiction weren't disappointed - that sucker should keep her in sugar for at least a month. Anyhoo, since we're co-workers, everyone at work was pestering me the following day for Elise's Official Baby Update. One particular conversation went a little like this:

Co-worker, codenamed Aqua Net: So, you saw Elise's baby last night!
Me: Yup, they're both doing well.
Aqua Net: Oh good. So, did you get a nurse?
Me: I - wait. What?
[Thinking: a nurse? Like a doctor? Did I get one?]
Aqua Net: A nurse. Did you get to nurse her?
Me: Ummmmmmmmmm.....
[Now thinking frantically - does she mean did I nurse on Elise? Because although we're buds and all, we're not THAT close.]
Aqua Net (seeing my confusion): Did you get to nurse the baby?
Me: --!
[WTF? Why would I nurse Elise's baby? I may have also clutched my boobs protectively at this point.]
Aqua Net, growing impatient: Well? Did you get to nurse her? Did you get a cuddle?
Me, realization dawning: AAAAHHHHHH. Oh. No. I don't cuddle babies. Sorry. I looked directly at her though. That's pretty good for me.
Aqua Net: *eyeroll*

So children, here is your lesson in Aussie speak for today: nurse = cuddle or snuggle when referring to visiting with a baby that's not yours (confusingly, it can also mean breastfeed, depending on the context). Please use this information for the good, not to scar innocent baby visitors such as myself. Thanks in advance.