Etsy strikes again

My stepmom collects teacups, which means she's pretty much the easiest person in the world to go Christmas shopping for, which is reason 36,412 that I love her. This year I decided to see what etsy had to offer, and it turns out the place is a veritable treasure trove for unique pottery! A sampling of what I found (and don't worry - I didn't buy any of these, so her Christmas present will still be a surprise):

Ninainvorm's sweet bird design:

I don't know what I love the most: the design detail in the bird, the red and blue color combination, or the sleek styling.

Natalyasots's whimsical creations wouldn't look out of place in a Tim Burton movie:

Ladybugs and tentacles. Who knew they were such a great combo?

Ridiculously charming teacups by hollibobolli:

Look at those weensy cupcakes! I may pass out from cuteness overload.

As a general rule, I'm not a fan of birds (rats of the sky, I call 'em), but there's something very appealing about these chickadee graphics by kristenswanson:

Hmm. I just realized that two of the other artists I've listed also have bird designs. I seem to be strangely attracted to them???

And I'm mildly in love with EstherCoombs and the quirky hand drawn sketches that she integrates with existing designs:

The teabags have been drawn on the sides of the cups. LOVE!

I swear I could spend my life's savings on stuff from etsy. Someone tell me I'm not alone in my addiction!

Movember Update - Day 28

Well, we've decided to wait until Movember is actually over (only two days to go!) to take the last photos, so you can get the full dramatic 'before' and 'after' effect. But I can tell you that Ben has been getting pretty anxious to shave the damn thing off - it's gotten long and full enough that it's getting in the way when he eats (eeeeew) and just annoying the shit out of him in general. Honestly, I have to say I'm relieved that he won't be keeping it like he originally threatened, since I'm not a big fan of the skeevy porn star-ish 'stache that's sprouted on his upper lip.

To keep the raging mobs from coming after me with torches and pitchforks for not posting a photo today, here is an adorable kitten:

This thing is so ridiculously sweet that my teeth hurt just looking at it.

And hey - why not one last shot of Ben's mustache inspiration:

You know your husband is all class when he worships this dude.

Stay tuned for the final photos in two days!

Nerd alert!

While we're on the topic of movies, can we just discuss this for a moment? I know I'm not the only one freaking out over the new Star Trek trailer. Um hello! J.J. Abrams directing? Sylar as Spock? Ginormous explosions in space? Sign me up!

Also, this version includes a short clip at the end featuring Leonard Nimoy:

Why must we wait until May 9th? WHY???

Can't get you out of my head

Growing up, we didn't have regular TV in my house; we lived in a rural area where it just wasn't available, so to make up for the deplorable lack of brain rot on tap, we watched movies. My mother was (and still is) a huge fan of the old school Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals, which we watched over and over. And over. Oklahoma, The King and I, South Pacific, The Sound of Music - I can do them all. I can also do My Fair Lady, Singin' In The Rain (don't you just love Gene Kelly?), West Side Story and, of course, The Wizard of Oz.

But my personal favorite was the Meredith Willson classic, The Music Man.

I soooo wanted that dress as a kid. Actually, I still want it.

Robert Preston hamming it up as a sleazy traveling salesman, and Shirley Jones doing the sexy librarian thing - just fabulous. And funny. And sweet. And full of the best one-liners ("You watch your phraseology!") and songs - especially this gorgeous little number, which probably contributed in no small part to my childhood attraction to libraries, and which I've been humming for the last three days:

Can't. Stop. Singing. This. Song. Send help. Tell them to bring a brass band, a staircase I can swoop down and fourteen pairs of stunt glasses to be dramatically tossed aside in the heat of the moment. Oh, and marshmallows. We'll definitely need marshmallows.

Getting to know Ben

Ben's mother recently gave us a few things from his childhood - old toys, a few games and a bunch of ancient school papers. This was one of them:


Ben doesn't remember this particular exercise, but it looks like all the kids had to write something nice about all the other children in class, and this was the dear husband's sheet. So let's learn a little something about Primary School Benjamin!

He's nice:


Good at science and jokes (clearly this kid never heard Ben's infamous zoo joke*):


Funny, with a good sense of humor:


Apparently crazy:


And also O.K. and alright. Gee. Hold the enthusiasm there, kids:


But true to form, smart was the most common theme:


This geeky kid was even willing to risk a playground beating (not by Ben, who has been an uber nerd his entire life) by using the phrase highly intelligent life form:


But my favorite HAS to be this one:


From the mouths of babes, folks. That child clearly knew Ben well.

*The infamous zoo joke: "I went to the zoo yesterday. They only had one dog in a cage. Yeah, it was a real Shih Tzu." (It makes more sense - note I didn't say was funnier - if you read it aloud: Shih Tzu = shit zoo. Bada bish! *sigh*)

Movember Update - Day 21

Question: how many photos does it take to get a good picture of Ben on Day 21 of the Movember challenge?


Even in the best photo, the poor guy still looks wrecked - and I don't blame him, since he spent the last few weeks studying like crazy for his final exams. The 'stache seems to thrive on stress though, since it has fluffed out quite a bit in the last week (is fluffed the right word?):

Nerds will notice Call of Duty 4 in the background. I ambushed him in his Man Cave.

Oh, and see the slight part in the middle? He's intentionally cultivating that so it will be more like Earl's:

Hmm. He has a part AND a slight droopy thing going on. Must alert Ben.

Bet y'all wish YOUR husband had a redneck hero, don't you?

The requisite plug: this really is a great charity, so if you'd like to help support men's health awareness, visit the official Movember website and enter the registration number 1580196 to view Ben's profile and make a donation.

Fur Elise

My friend Elise (she of the incubator tummy) often strokes my ego by telling me what a good cook I am, lamenting at the same time her inability to create anything more complex than macaroni and cheese (to which I say: don't knock homemade mac'n'cheese - it is truly one of the greatest foods known to man). So Elise - this one's for you.

I love cooking. I started at a fairy young age, around 12 or 13. At the time I was a legendarily picky eater, and after refusing my mother's carefully prepared meal for about the 487th night in a row, the poor woman threw up her hands in frustration and shouted, "Fine! If you don't like it, YOU can cook for the family from now on!" And I screamed back, "Fine! I WILL!" And I did, until I left home at 18 - because as it turned out, I had a knack for it. Cooking is soothing, intriguing, creative, even meditative. But sometimes it goes from Zen to...well...what happened last night.

For starters, I wasn't feeling very good. An upset stomach, throbbing headache and sore shoulder (no, it's still not healed) were all conspiring to ruin my day. Add to that incessant rain, a cat who has suddenly decided that using the litter box is optional, and a shockingly messy house (I'm not one of those people who clutches their pearls and shrieks, "Oh my stars! My house is a WRECK!" if a coaster gets out of line; if I say my house is a mess, it probably means I've unearthed a woodchuck while rummaging through the closet), and my night was already more or less shot.

And then I started to cook.

The menu: Agnolotti pasta with chicken, mushrooms and broccoli florets in a cream sauce. The result: you'll see.

In my headachy distraction, I put the broccoli and pasta in a pan that was far too small - as a result, the top layer wouldn't stay under water and got dry and crusty, even with constant stirring:

BTW, if you want to add broccoli to pasta, this is the easiest way to cook it, as long as you're using fresh pasta - if you try it with dry pasta, you'll overcook it and end up with mush.

I was wary of the skim milk the recipe called for, since cream sauces are best done with whole milk, but in the interest of good health I gave it a shot. Of course, the milk separated and wouldn't blend with the butter or cheese.

Why use skim milk if you're going to whack in butter and cheese anyway???

And the cheese, for some freakish reason, refused to blend properly with the milk or stay as a liquid (or even simply in a melted state) - instead it turned into this strange goopy stuff with texture vaguely reminiscent of bread dough. "Doughy" is not a word you want to use when describing cheese.

I have never seen cheese do this before. I can only presume that it was posessed Devil Cheese. Also, yes, I use plastic utensils and non-stick pans. Sue me.

Let's take a closer look at that, shall we?

Mmm. Doughy goop.

My reaction to all of this? Combined with the crapness of my day, I just couldn't handle it. Instead of smiling serenely and starting over, June Cleaver style, I burst into hysterical tears and ran to Ben, who patted me on the back, grabbed his car keys, and said we were going out to eat. (Have I mentioned that I love this man?)

So you see, Elise, I'm not always a great cook. In fact, sometimes I have spectacularly unrivaled catastrophes in the kitchen - hence the reason why this will never be one of those cooking blogs with immaculately turned out dishes and perfect photos.

On the upside, our dogs had the best dinner EVER.

Is that a banana in your lunchbox or are you just happy to see me?

Every once in a while, along comes a product so novel, so unique, so...weird, that you just have to share it with other people.

This would be one of those times. Check it out:

That, my friends, is a Banana Guard from SafeBanana. Since I'm in a lazy mood, I'll copy and paste the spiel from their website

"How many times have you took a banana to work, peeled it but found it was so bruised it had to be thrown away? Well, thanks to this great product, available from SafeBanana you can transport your banana fully protected during any journey.

"There are nine great, funky colours to choose from and all are extremely popular. A tough banana shaped box that protects the banana and slows ripening thanks to small holes that run along the side, allowing air to circulate. A secure lock ensures you do not lose your banana. It is easy to clean and dishwasher safe.

"A banana is a great source of energy and very popular with children and adults. The innovative design makes this a fun, unusual present and will fascinate the recipient, making it an ideal stocking filler.

"Media and consumer opinion has been extremely favourable. This popular item has featured in several newspapers across the world and has been the focus of several television broadcasts, including Discovery Channel’s ‘’Daily Planet’’."*

And it can be yours for the low, low price of £3.97 (about $6USD) - and just look at these colors!

I'm kinda feeling the glow-in-the-dark (bottom center), myself. You know, just in case I lose my banana at night. Normally I go for red, but that particular model looks a touch...happy...to me.

poll by twiigs.com

*Note: for some reason, I initially read that as Discovery Channel's "Daily Pervert." Clearly I cannot be trusted in the presence of bananas.

Movember Update - Day 14

Well, it's Day 14 of the Movember challenge, and The Earl is coming along nicely:

Posing for posterity on the couch in his Man Cave.

Yeah. I have to kiss that 'stache. Jealous?

Ben has also requested that his incredibly redneck stylish new sideburns be featured in this update, since he's specially cultivating them to, uh, enhance his 'stache:

Two weeks of mustache. One week of sideburns. A day's worth of beard. My honey is all class.

Only two weeks to go!

Another requisite plug: this really is a great charity, so if you'd like to help support men's health awareness, visit the official Movember website and enter the registration number 1580196 to view Ben's profile and make a donation.

I have made a discovery

+


=

Best. Saturday. Afternoon. EVER.

Chapter 72: A new experience - in which our heroine is exposed to the fast paced world of dog agility fanatics

I spent last Sunday morning at a dog agility competition. No really, I did. I do occasionally leave the house and venture out into the sun, as my sunburned arms will attest (those of us who thrive on being blindingly pasty seldom think of applying sunblock). My supervisor, Alison the Dog Lover, is a member of the Greater Western Agility, Obedience and Herding Club, and she invited me along to lend a hand with the event. Having nothing better to do, and not quite realizing that it involved an 8am start on a weekend morning, I said yes.

So on Sunday, I dragged myself out of bed when the alarm went off, smacked Ben with a pillow for having the audacity to stay asleep while I faced the cold, cruel world, and dragged myself - sans coffee, no less - to one of the local parks, where I would find out what I was in for. And I have to admit, it was pretty cool. Of course I had NO idea what I was doing as a steward and was responsible for creating a rather cheerful chaos, but watching these incredibly athletic dogs run the course was just amazing. They're so focused, so intent - waiting for their handler's signal to start the course, quivering in anticipation, they're wound up so tight you could pluck them like a guitar string. Fabulous.

The variety of breeds took me completely by surprise - I mean look at this! That top left dog is a Papillon. I had no idea you could even do this kind of competing with them - I always thought they were more of the type to just sit on your lap and yap at passing dust.

Of course the Border Collies are the most impressive; this is what they're built for, what they love, and it shows - they're so sleek and focused, so lightening quick. They are simply gorgeous, and I could have watched them all day.


But my favorite of the day was an Old English Sheepdog. Between the weight and the excess hair, it was like watching a small, furry tank attempt a grand jeté. Naturally, he completely devastated the course, but had such a blast doing it that you couldn't help but cheer him on (dogs like that really aren't built to break free from gravity).


Of course, now Alison is trying to talk me into training up young Indy into an agility dog...we shall see. Currently I'd settle for just teaching him to stop chewing on the damn irises. *sigh* The joys of a puppy, right?

Note: sorry the pictures are all small. They're also all from here. Same day, same dogs, but I was too slack to take my own photos.

Aussie Tip #5

Drink Like A Local

Want to know the easiest way to tell a tourist in Australia? Well, aside from the obnoxious shirts, plethora of camera gear and ubiquitous fanny packs?* Without exception, they mosey up to the bar and order Fosters.

Fosters is one of those mysterious cultural icons that is beloved by tourists and unilaterally derided by locals (much like Beck’s, or so I’m told). This is because it’s pretty much the worst beer Australia has to offer, usually inviting comparisons to something that came from the wrong end of a horse - although now that I think about it, I’m not sure which end that would be. Anyway, Fosters is mostly exported, although they do reserve a bit at home so visitors can pretend like they’re locals (who, in turn, like to point and laugh at the sight of tourists knocking back one of the vilest drinks known to man).

So what do Aussies drink? That depends on the location, since many states have favorite local brews...

• In New South Wales, Tooheys (or, more popularly, Toohey’s New) is a fairly safe bet. Victoria Bitter, aka VB** used to be omnipresent but has declined in popularity.
• Queenslanders tend to suck down a lot of XXX (say “four ex”), although I’d rather have my fingernails pulled out. That shiz is NAS-TAY.
• South Australians have a strong preference for Coopers, especially their Pale Ale.
• Victorians like Carlton Draught, which I find shockingly foul.
• In Western Australia they drink a fair amount of Swan Lager - a pretty name for a rather rough beer. However, I’m informed by Someone Who Would Know that in recent years the very nice Little Creatures brewery has begun to win the popularity stakes – it’s not available in many pubs outside of WA yet, but is easy to find in most liquor stores (or “bottle shops” as Aussies call them), and I strongly recommend trying it if you get a chance.
• If you make it down to Tasmania, Boags is popular, as is Cascade. (In my mini-poll, Aussies couldn’t agree on which was preferred – I vote for Cascade because they have a prettier label. Clearly, I am shallow and not a connoisseur of Tasmanian beer.)
• And nationwide, Crown is a relatively upscale brew, but common enough to find in most pubs - plus it won’t get you mocked by the rest of the clientele.

P.S. Although Fosters may be widely derided, I do have to give them props for a truly memorable ad campaign, even if it really isn’t “Australian for beer.” That said, I still think this Carlton Draught clip is the all time best Aussie beer ad:

*In Australia, fanny packs are called “bum bags.” This is because “fanny” is a slang term for the female anatomy. Naturally, Aussies find it hysterically inappropriate when an American threatens to “spank your fanny.”

** Ben has just sent me a list of alternative meanings of VB: Very Bitter, Very Bad, Very Bogan and, for some reason, Vitamin B? At any rate, he defines it as “working class beer for laborers about 20 years ago.” From what I can tell, there’s a fairly clear generational gap – you’ll see baby boomers holding a bottle, but most younger Aussies won’t drink it except out of desperation.

I can haz poetry magnets?

OMG!!1! Check out the silly gift I bought for Ben:

We have what is quite possibly the least attractive fridge on the planet, which is why I'm not inflicting a full length shot on you. However, it was also free, so I don't complain too much.

These sweet babies are lolcat poetry magnets. That's right, just like regular poetry magnets, but in lolspeak.

Oh PLEASE. You'd do the same thing and you know it.

Obviously, they are the epitome of nerdiness, but also ridiculously fun!

In sheer entertainment value, they are the best $11.99 I've ever spent, although I admit that we probably just need to get out more.

Confession time: Ben and I talk to our pets in lolspeak. And then we make up their responses. We're not the only people who do this, right? Right???