Aussie Tip #6

Talk Like A Local

Pick up any Australian guidebook and there will invariably be a big ole list of supposedly common slang - stuff like "cobber," "fair dinkum," and "dry as a dead dingo's donger" (the guide books loooove that one). Here's a tip: don't ever say those things.

I SWEAR that outside of the movies, no Aussie talks like that. Ever. Actually hearing someone say, "Strewth mate, she's a bonza billabong!" would be the equivalent of a Texan exclaiming, "Well golly gee willackers pardner, that thar is the biggest gosh durn puddle I ever dun see!"

That's not to say that Aussies don't use slang - in fact, I once read that there are enough slang nouns, verbs and adjectives in use to create an entirely new language, which is why it's sometimes so bewildering to listen to Australians speak. I can't recall where I picked this up so it's probably complete bullshit, but it seems like it could be true; sometimes if a person talks too quickly and blurs together normal words, I simply assume they've used a new slang word that I'm not familiar with - I'm still learning new phrases, even after living here for nearly seven years.

If you're planning a visit to Oz and want to avoid the "this tourist is a dumbass" eyeroll after you whip out a particularly juicy phrase you found in the guidebook, this is the most accurate list I've been able to find online. And of course, if you hear a word you don't recognize, feel free to ask - most Aussies will think it's amusing and cheerfully explain what they mean.*

* Not long after we met, I innocently asked Ben what "norks" were - I'd seen the term on a magazine cover outside of any context to help me figure out what it meant. That was the first time I saw him blush - turns out it means boobs. Just FYI, in case anyone asks to see your norks.