I am a gaming widow

Every second Saturday of the month, Ben packs up his computer and associated accoutrement, slaps on his niftiest t-shirt bearing an ironic slogan, and chirpily skims out of the house before 10am (quite an accomplishment considering he usually isn't even awake by then on most weekends). His destination: a nerdfest known as the LAN.

OK, the one he attends isn't quite that big, or that snazzily decorated since it takes place in one of the University's multipurpose rooms next to the bar and usually smells like sour beer thanks to the requisite Friday night student booze up. However, for any LAN virgins out there, that's a lot what it looks like: a passel of nerds (cluster of nerds? network of nerds? what's the collective term?*) all hooked up to a local network, who spend their time gaming, swearing, caffeinating, and generally basking in the overwhelming and unmistakable Eau de Geek of the event (it's fairly musky, as scents go).

I, meanwhile, am left at home to stare at the dirty dishes in the kitchen and find ways to avoid washing them. See y'all? This is what happens when you till-death-do-I-part with a nerd. Also, this:

click here for a larger image

But that's a story for a different time. And besides, both these things don't even hold a candle to the real obsession: Ben's favorite game. All gamers have one, and for a while I felt lucky not to have fallen in love with a WoW fanatic, an MMORPG infamous for taking over lives so utterly and completely that there are occasional devastating real life consequences (this is an extreme example, of course - usually the player just becomes an antisocial freak more concerned with grinding for gold than with pesky stuff like personal hygiene).

Left: the face of evil
Right: you would be shocked at how many WoW tattoos there are out there. Seriously, google it.

But then Ben discovered a little something called Eve.

Or, as I like to call it, The Other Woman In My Husband's Life.

In fact, he's so wrapped up in this game that that I issued a preemptive ban to prevent him from posting incessantly about it here and inadvertently turning this into The Eve Blog...although come to think of it, that may be the reason he hasn't posted anything yet. Hmm.

Anyhoodle, I'd strongly recommend not asking him about Eve unless you're interested in hearing a 40-minute soliloquy on the wonders of the game as well as a comprehensive overview of the current status of his in-game corporation. (Eve is full of hundreds of these extraordinarily organized corporations, ranging in size from just a few individuals to a few thousand players, which not only marshal intricately planned strategic raids but also levy taxes on members' in-game earnings and organize the supply of goods for large scale projects. Can you tell I hear a lot about this stuff?)

Yes, that is Ben's corporate logo. I should get some serious Good Wife Points just for posting the damn thing. I also realize that by writing any of this, I'm now opening wide the floodgates for Ben to start posting about Eve. I'm sorry folks - I tried.

After reading all of this, you probably think I'm going to break into a rant about the geek culture, The Other Woman, becoming a gaming widow, and nerds in general.

I'm not.

I love Ben's geekiness. It's one of my favorite things about him, and although I might occasionally mock his dedication to a fictional universe (have I mentioned that he - along with most other Eve players - has extensive spreadsheets to calculate spaceship manufacturing costs?), there are many worse things he could be out doing. As far as hobbies go, nestling quietly at his computer in his Man Cave is pretty safe, and he's always there if I want a hug or a conversation. Plus, it's actually pretty entertaining to listen to him and his online buddies shouting militaristic commands to each other on TeamSpeak during a raid.

Dating (or in my case, marrying) a nerd is the best thing you'll ever do - the huge majority are sweet, smart, respectful guys who aren't nearly as reclusive or socially inept as the stereotypes suggest. I won't make one of those Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Date A Geek lists, because there are plenty out there already, but I will say that I agree with most of the points...and add one of my own, which is that for some reason I find techno babble to be über sexy. Go figure. I even went so far as to make a silly shirt on Zazzle that testifies to this, although of course I've never actually gotten around to ordering it:

So even though I might occasionally complain about my state of widowhood, I really wouldn't have it any other way.

* I love ridiculous, unofficial collective terms. A couple of my favorites are "a bore of academics" and "a shush of librarians." Oh! Lightening has just struck my brain! (And no, it didn't hurt.) I believe the best term would be "a collective of nerds," vis-à-vis the Borg. Très awesome, no?